When To Say Enough Is Enough And Start Working On The Best Version Of YourselfJun 17, 2021
Think about your life right now. Is there something you are doing that's pushing you towards your goal, or is it taking you away from that goal? How many times have we tried to justify our bad behavior and told ourselves it’s just one of those few things and that it’s fine and we won’t do it again? In this episode, Ryan Weeden talks about procrastination and why we need to step up, stand tall and proud, and finally decide what kind of life we want to lead. At what point do you say no? When are you going to say enough is enough? Tune in and get the inspiration to start working on the best version of yourself and your dream life ahead.
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When To Say Enough Is Enough And Start Working On The Best Version Of Yourself
In my last episode, I was talking about how we strive for perfection, even myself. I have to stop striving for perfection because perfection is unattainable. You can't reach perfection unless you're doing SAT scores or trying something that has a perfect score. In life, there is no perfection. It's just, "Does it make us happy or successful? Does it not make us happy or successful?" Instead, we need to strive for excellence. We need to try to be better and more excellent like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, "Be excellent to each other. Party on."
Procrastination is a darkness that's keeping us from our full potential.
I got all kinds of thoughts in my head and they're jumbling together. I'm having a tough time. I like to be honest here because not only is this therapy for me, but I also want you to start to take a look inside the mind of an entrepreneur. By most metrics, I'm hugely successful in business, branding, and life. So much has gone my way and I'm grateful for that, but I'm working on myself now and I don't feel successful inside and out. I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners are like that. You might not even think you are an entrepreneur, but if you are a business owner, whether you are a small business owner or a solo business owner and you have dreams and visions to achieve more and have a better life, then to many degrees, you are an entrepreneur.
One thing that I face quite a bit is I don't feel good enough. I'm putting on this freaking event called HERO, about tapping into your inner greatness. I'm working on my speech because I'm going to be on the stage a lot. Thankfully, I've got some time to do this. I'm like, "I need to inspire people, set the tone for the event, and talk about what a hero is and how to reach that inner hero." I don't even feel like a hero. I know I'm not like, "Look at me. I'm a hero. I saved people." It's not even about that. Sometimes we need to tap into our courage to save ourselves from a life of regret and mediocrity. We need to know and believe that we have the ability to write the next chapters of our life.
No matter what happened to us or where we're starting in our life or what age or place, we can always do better and strive for more. Our life is not over. If we are here reading this, no matter what challenges we are facing now, we can control not what life throws at us but how we respond to it. We can choose whether we want to be happy about it or if we want to look at it like, "Why me? Why is this happening to me?" Sometimes we do initially think that, but we need to pull ourselves back together as quickly as possible and say, "This happened, but that's fine because I can overcome challenges. I am strong, confident, and resilient. I can do anything." This is the belief that we need to have with ourselves.
Deep down, I do have this belief about myself, which is why I keep showing up. I might be terrified. I might have anxiety. I might be depressed and think that what I'm doing doesn't even make sense. How could I be on a stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people? It was unfathomable years ago. I wanted it to happen. I dreamed about it, but now that it's happening, I don't feel ready for this. I don't want to stand on that stage. I do, but I don't. I'll wake up in the morning. I'll be excited about it and I’ll be terrified. I know I'll be ready, though. I've shown up for these things before.
When I say show up, I mean I'm going to show up with my best foot forward. That's how we need to look at life. We need to know that whatever life throws at us, we will overcome. No matter what hardships we face, unfortunately, there's a hell of a lot of hardships in life, we will get through it. We will not unpack our bags in a state of misery and live there. We can visit it and mourn certain losses, but we must get past it. We cannot let it consume us and let that darkness drag us down because that's what it wants to do. Darkness and our demons have ways of latching on without us even knowing.
There's procrastination. That's a darkness that's keeping us from our full potential. We need to get past procrastination. The biggest one is justification. How many times do you justify bad behavior and write it off as, "It's one of my things. It's fine. I know I'm not supposed to drink during the week because I made that rule for myself, but I had a friend in town. One led to another and that's why I'm hungover. It’s fine. I won't do it again?" The next thing happens a day or two later, "I had another friend that happened to pop into town or a family. It was a birthday that I forgot about. We were Zooming. We all did a tequila shot. It's a family tradition."
At what point do you say no? At what point do you say, "This is going against what I'm trying to do. It's pulling me away from my goals?" We need to step up, stand tall, stand proud, and decide what kind of life we want to lead. What we want in life, is this pushing us toward our goal or is it taking us away from that goal? There was an exercise my coach gave me, which I love. I revisited it. He said, "When you think about the best version of yourself in the future, I want you to describe that person in three words. What are those three words? These words can change depending on different stages of our life. Think about your best version of yourself and your dream life ahead, what three words stand out about the best version of yourself."
For me, I'll be open and honest about this, my three words when I look at my best self and how he shows up for the world and for himself, happy, patient, and loving. I want to be happy and I see him happy. I want to be more patient because I have little patience. I need a lot more patience, not for projects and life, but I need a lot more patience for people. I also need to be more loving. I'm a loving person, but sometimes I get overcome with selfishness. Sometimes I think about, "It's all about me." I don't want it to sound like I'm stuck on myself, but I tend to sometimes get lost in my own story, plate, and success. I need to remember that I'm part of my family and it's about my family. I need to be more loving and not just when I'm facing the public and putting my best face on.
When the camera is off, I need to be the same person in private. How do you feel about that? Are you somebody that is the same person on the camera in front of the world, in the salon to your guests? Are you that same person at home or are you a different person? I've been somebody that hasn't lived up to that many times, where I'm doing a live for myself, my company, or another company and I show up on camera, I'm like, "Ryan Weeden here. I'm so excited to show you this technique." All of a sudden, the camera goes off and I'm like, "I've got to do this other thing and I got to do this. I'm freaking starving." You're short with your family, spouse, and kids. You realize, "Why am I like this? Why can't I be the same person in public and in private? I don't want to keep trying to be two different people. I want to be the same person every single time."
My wife called me out, she has called me out before on this. She was like, "Ryan, you're so nice to everybody when you show up social media and then sometimes, you're a dick." Thankfully, it's not all the time. It's certain moments that I forget. I'm not the best version of myself. I'm glad she does call me out because it's important that I realize that because a lot of times, we don't realize our own behavior. If you don't have somebody that's going to truthfully call you out and give it to you straight, and you need to be open and receptive to that, then make sure that you are watching yourself and showing up as the same person in public and in private.
We can’t control what life throws at us but we can control how we respond to it.
We've got a lot of stuff coming up with our HERO event. I'm super excited about that. I'm going to keep you posted along the way. I'm working on my speech and trying to figure out how I'm going to set the tone for this whole thing, get everybody fired up and inspired, and have a couple of laughs in there as well. Thank you so much for reading. This is a shorter episode. Hopefully, it's not any less entertaining and insightful. A call to action I would give to you is, take a few minutes. Think about this future and dream version of yourself. When you look at your best version of yourself, this ideal version of you, what are three words that characterize you and can describe exactly how you show up to the world? Write them down. If you want to take it a step further, set a phone timer on your iPhone or Android so that it pops up every day and reminds you, say at 9 AM. For me, it will pop up at 9 AM. It's a little reminder. It will say, "Ryan, remember to be happy, patient, and loving." I love you, guys. I'll talk to you soon.